WARNING:  Today’s post is the longest post I have EVER written. So if you are not a long post reader, I totally understand if you say “I’m out!” … however, if any of what you read here has happened to you and/or you are currently experiencing, I’d love it if you would please share.  2018 was one hell of a year.  Was it just me?  …

 

See this picture of me below?  It was taken just a few weeks before I completely totaled this brand-new Jaguar F-PACE SUV and, as I indicated on my previous post, I came very close to dying.  That was how I started my 2018 and today’s post I’m sharing all the HIGHS and ALL the many lows I experienced during my emotional roller coaster year.

A lot happened in 2018 and, as my therapist told me, she has never had a patient with SO many things happen to them ~ ALL at the same time! I did, actually, seek quite a bit of mental health guidance from her this past year (I gauge how many times I went to her based off of the fact that she appears to be driving a really nice, new car. Ha!) and frankly, I needed it.   And so I will try to not make this post too wordy and will share the “short version” of each story, but I need to just write this post so that I can move forward. Let’s start with the car accident.  

In between Christmas and New Years of 2017, I tripped and fell hard during my daily,  early morning run.  When I picked myself up, I felt super lightheaded and my head was spinning.  I decided not go any further and walked back home.  When I got home, I told my husband that I actually felt like I had a “brain numbing” kind of fall.  So I rested but then I felt much better. I decided to clean up and get ready, as he and I were going to take blog pictures.

I was driving my car on the highway (during morning rush hour) and my husband was behind me driving in his car.  I suddenly realized that I was going to faint. I turned to flag my husband behind me to signal that I was going to get off the highway and THAT is ALL that I remember.  Apparently I passed out, crossed over lanes of traffic, hit the guardrail, turned and headed back across traffic finally to come to a stop as I scrapped along the middle barrier.  I then laid unconscious for nearly 20 minutes.  I am so thankful that I did not hit or harm anyone on the highway and my husband advised that everyone just luckily got out of my way.

I have ZERO memory of any of this ~ my husband, however, remembers it all as he witnessed it.  I was rushed to the ER and became conscious as the paramedics placed me into an ambulance. Numerous tests later, I was released to come home.  I had no real injuries other than a few scratches on my face, thanks to my cars air bags. THAT is how I started January 2018.

Ok ~ this was one of my first postings after the accident.  I’m sure you thought I was just stylishly wearing my turtleneck.  Nope ~ I was cleverly hiding my air bag face.  

Also in January, Valentino and I started to look quite a bit alike. At that time, I was just standing out in front of our then home. I posed there because I was afraid to go anywhere.  Afraid to drive … afraid to leave my house … afraid for my husband to drive and leave the house … simply afraid. 

But then my friends at Chico’s called. They were inviting myself, and a few other bloggers, to NY to tell us about their new #HoldBoldAreYou campaign, to ask our opinions about it and other things happening at Chico’s and to treat us to some fun. I was THRILLED for the invite but scared to get myself to the airport … Chico’s sent a car.  

This was the first of three really fab trips Chico’s treated me to in 2018.  Although I’ve shared with their team how appreciative I was/am of them ~ they really have NO idea how much they helped to get me through this year. This first trip forced me to join the rest of the Land of the Living.

After coming back from NY, in late January my hubby and I moved into our new condo in town.  We not only down-sized, which meant getting rid of and donating many of our belongings, it also meant packing and unpacking.  Everyone knows how STRESSFUL moving is and we had not yet sold our existing home … this meant multiple mortgages. (sigh.)

Below was the morning after the move.  All the boxes are stacked high outside of the kitchen.  The dogs were mildly freaked out.

At the end of January, I released the first video of a series of videos as part of a collaboration with Heritage Hotels & Resorts to highlight New Mexico.  My dear friend, Darlene from Style 4 Less Vegas, came done from Vegas to join me.  She knew about my accident and that I wasn’t really driving  ~ I did “pretend” to drive my videographer’s car.

February had me trudging along with fun collaborations with Quilo  … they liked my review and images so much, they asked permission to use on their site.  Check me out hereas well as

a fun collab with Decode 1.8 to help spread awareness for women’s heart health. 

Although I was still having a bit of anxiety about life,  my new anxiety came when my fashion designer friend, Dara of Hopeless + Cause Atelier, asked me to walk in her New York Fashion Week show.  You can watch my Runway Model debut here.

I finished off the month with collaborations with Swap.com, where I created 5 outfits with $100, and

another fun one with The Yes Dress that can be styled over 1,500 different ways!

At the end of February, I took the first of 4 trips to France to see/help my mother who lives there alone.  Out of respect for my mother’s privacy, and not going into huge details, it just became evident that she could no longer live alone, and certainly not in the big home that she was currently living in.  The February trip was to assess the situation, determine “next steps” and meet with her people  ~ and her people mean her doctor, her banker, her real estate agent, etc. BTW, all of these people only communicate with me in French … a language I don’t read, write or speak. Let’s just say I use Google Translate ~ a LOT.

Since the passing of my sister a few years back, I am now the only child.  It’s very weird to be an adult child and the sole person  faced with making life decisions for your parents.  If any of you have been in, or are currently in, this situation then you KNOW the emotional load that is put upon you.  I wasn’t prepared for it and sought a lot of advice and guidance. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that this new emotional load was just the beginning for me ….

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In March, Chico’s flew our influencer group back to NY for the launch party of their #HowBoldAreYou campaign where I had the pleasure of hanging out with the stunning Tracee Ellis Ross. Can I just tell you how much I needed this trip? Although I found myself feeling guilty about having fun and releasing some steam.

March and April also had me trying out new things, like skin brushing …

 

exposing more of my super white skin …

and wearing my hair down more often.  It’s not that I don’t like to do this, it’s just that I have LOTS of weird fine hair that doesn’t really do much. Pulling it back in a pony tail is simply easier, not to mention the style my husband prefers.

I also became a Brand Ambassador for Llano Wine and rocked in National Wine Day with them … along with my pony.

The years stress was starting to show on my face and in May,  MBK Beauty apparently thought my eyes could use a break. #ThanksMBK

We took our second trip to see my Mom in France.  It was a hard one, and although I had a fabulous time in Paris …

I came home and immediately got the first of two really bad middle ear infections. This first one took me down and had me visiting the ER at 3:00 AM just to seek some relief. 

This didn’t stop me, however, from fulfilling a video collaboration with Savers where one of the items I scored was this denim trench coat for $6.99!  You can watch that video here.

June brought new collaborations with J. Jill,

Eliza J and Julie Vos.

Mid June my second middle ear infection returned, which had me wondering if the first one ever really healed.  Looking back at this picture below, I remember crawling out of bed to take this picture, because it was part of a collab that I committed to, and then going home to crawl right back into bed. THIS was when I really realized how much stress can effect your health!

My dad, who lives in New Mexico, announced that he was going to have the back surgery he had been putting off for years and that he will really be needing my help, seeing as he lives alone.  He was quite nervous about having this surgery, as there would be a lot of down-time and recovery, but he was in immense pain.  I adjusted my calendar so that I could take the time off to be with him and still fulfill other commitments I had made, as his surgery was a bit of a surprise.

Shauna and SheShe arrived a few days later and we spent 3 FABULOUS days in Santa Fe and shot one of the most FUN videos ever! WAIT ~ you haven’t watched it yet???  Well then, you’d better click on the arrow below.

July brought new collaborations with Macy’s …

Foot Levelers and ..

I had a moment of real creativity when I discovered that I could make a belt out of an electrical outlet cover.

My father had a successful surgery and was moved to a rehabilitation facility for a couple of weeks to build up his strength and prepare him to go home. The night before he was to be discharged, I went to his home and filled his fridge with healthy foods that I knew he needed and a few foods that he didn’t need, but that I knew that he loved. His home was ready for him … I was ready for him.

I was totally not prepared for what was about to happen.

On July 11, 2018, at 7:15 AM, I received a call from the rehabilitation facility that sometime in the early morning, my father had passed away.  I just stood there  … and then fell into my husbands arms.  We both were in such shock!  My husband drove me to my father ~ he was still in his bed at the facility.  I sobbed over his body and thanked him for all that he did for me in my life …for making me the woman that I am.  I told him that I will always love him ~ and then I said goodbye.

My life then completely changed.  As the Trustee of my father’s estate, I now had the responsibility of handling all of his affairs.  That week I made his funeral arrangements, wrote his obituary, contacted family, friends, and neighbors, met with his trust attorney and then sat in his house surrounded by all his “stuff” … he had SO much stuff. I had a lot of work ahead of me and my stress load just went SKY HIGH!

Condolences, food and flowers came in from family, friends and BRANDS.  I frankly just couldn’t get over how many brands sent me flowers!  All of this was just so touching to me.  Vita Juwels sent me this gemstone water bottle because the gemstones provide stress relief.

I drank from it all … day … long.  Although I was under all the stress of my mother and now my father, it was important to me to continue on and my blog was, and IS, my space to be me ~ AND it provides me such joy.

August brought more collaborations with Macy’s, and …

the most special and memorable trip to Florida with Chico’s as they invited me to join them as they celebrated 35 years in business!

After returning from, again … a MUCH needed trip … I headed back to France to assist my mother.  This time I also collaborated with NK iMode,

Dress Barn, Soft Surroundings  and Chico’s while there.

Back in New Mexico, I had a collaboration with Jambu shoes waiting for me and once I got settled back in …

I started  the process of settling my father’s estate. I closed out all of his accounts, went through all his belongings … donating some items, selling others … fixed anything that needed to be fixed, cleaned and prepared his home for sale and handled all the unexpected things that cropped up along the way. 

October rolled in bringing collabs with Simon Malls and

and Chico’s.  (I loved this one!) 

And Llano Wine treated me to a great tour of their facility and a day filled with good times … and wine.

November brought a smile to my face with the cutest boots from Ross + Snow …

that special girlfriend trip to Mexico …

and brought me back to my love of Southwest attire.

And, finally, December.

My father’s home, which was essentially the last asset to address, sold. There’s a weird finality to it all and I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it all yet … but somehow this month I was able to keep my cool.

The week before Christmas, my husband and I took one more quick trip to my mom’s.  This trip went really well and she is now settled and in a very good place.

I have no idea how I made it through this very tumultuous year, but I DO know that I could NOT have done any of this without the love and support of my husband who was beside me every step of the way.  I LOVE YOU, JOHN!  Thank you so much for being there for me. All the stressors (and successes) of this year have made me a stronger and better person ~ and I can’t help but think that how I handled myself would have made my father proud. 

 

And so to all this I now say …  ADIÓS, 2018!  … and BRING ON this FABULOUS New Year!

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*** Thank you for reading.  I’ll be returning to my short posts tomorrow.  XOXO