I think I’ll pass ~

Whenever my husband and I travel, we walk everywhere.   So, he surprised me on our last trip to Amsterdam when he suggested that he and I should get around by hopping on one of these:

Yep- the Beer Bike.  Was he nuts? This didn’t really seem safe to me and, frankly, we had just had breakfast.  I see NO seat belts on this thing. But with a slight twist of the arm and (the promise of a new pair of shoes at the end of the ride)… I hopped on.

At the end of what seemed like a 3 hour pedal/drinkfest all around town – EVERYONE on that beer bike is your new best friend!  You laugh together, everybody sings songs, you share your dreams…your passions.  You have officially bonded with these people.  We were having so much fun, the only way I could convince my husband to get off  the beer bike was to tell him that there was a Bordeaux Cabernet Sauvignon Bike parked on the next street over.

It wasn’t until just a few days ago, when my Allure magazine arrived, that I remembered a very strange discussion I had had with my beer bike friends.  Someone had shared that there was this crazy, new fashion trend going around Amsterdam and all of the hipsters were getting it done.  It was THE big thing.  I’m talking about, of course:  Eyeball Jewelry.

Is that an Emoji in your eye?   (*•*)

So there it was…an entire article in Allure magazine completely supporting what my beer bike friends had shared with me. The article went on to highlight even more unusual fashion and beauty trends from around the world.  Such as these:

Facekinis – a HUGE trend in China.  I understand the desire to not have any additional sun exposure to your face, but can’t you just wear SPF 100+?

Asian nightingale excrement facials (also known as…and I will use my very best pig Latin so as to not entirely gross you out…”igeon-pay, oopie-pay” facials) from Japan.  I have actually had one of these facials before, but when people started tossing small pieces of bread at me from their park benches – I decided that one of these facials was enough.

Double Teeth.  Apparently some young Asian women spend thousands of dollars to make their teeth crooked and to look this way.  Interestingly, we spend thousands of dollars so our teeth don’t look this way.

Shippo, or tail.  Operated by your brain,  this tail can express your feelings and wiggle if you are happy or sad.  Unless you want Snoopy calling you 24-7, I would sooo run from this trend.  Just pretend that someone tossed you a stick in the opposite direction.

So, I think I’m going to pass.  I really don’t want to do anything to myself that appears like it might hurt, make animals chase me or cause young children to scream.

Wag your tail if you agree.